The Perfect Formula for Breastfeeding

“I just fed him every two hours or when he woke up, then everything went much better!”

“We were trying to get him to sleep in the crib for naps, but I missed him too much so he sleeps in my arms now.”

“My pediatrician said he should be sleeping 5 hour stretches by this time, but he is so much happier when I feed him, is this a bad habit?”

Woman bites nails with furrowed brow
I read 500 books, but I forgot the right way to take care of my baby!

You read all the books, scoured all the websites and got all the (sometimes unsolicited) advice from your friends. Now, you feel you are going into this big, important, life changing thing prepared and knowledgable. Filled with confidence about breastfeeding, you are ready…and then the baby arrives.

Nowadays, new parents believe that knowledge gives them the best chance to feeding their babies easily. The more information the better right? Education is not bad, and it is good to know what to expect. However, downloading the perfect app, going to the perfect class, and creating the perfect schedule will not ensure perfection. What if I told you there is no perfect baby?

A parent who goes into breastfeeding with absolutely no expectations is a beautiful thing. These parents go with the flow! They give their baby whatever they need, whenever they need it.  This ease allows them to hold their babies close, sniff their little heads, and get to know their cries. Parents who respond to their babies, instead of trying to force them into a box, tend to have less stress.

Skin to skin isn’t just about all the great benefits like temperature and blood sugar regulation. When you hold your baby close, you learn who they are. When a baby is away in another room, swaddled, pacified, and monitored electronically, you may miss the little nuances. You might even miss early feeding queues that are so obvious when the baby is nestled on your chest, resulting in a very unhappy little camper.

The thing is, a perfect formula to breastfeeding just doesn’t exist. Every parent and every baby is different. So often to solve an issue, it takes an IBCLC. We will look at all the variables to make a specific plan for your family. It isn’t as simple as just consuming all the information you can find, because here is the thing, no book or blog has ever been written about your baby. No math equation will work without fail with every single baby and parent. There is no perfect class, app, or professional who can predict what kind of baby your baby will be. A good IBCLC will teach you what is normal, help you get comfortable, and show you how to interpret cries and cues. I can’t wait to help you to write your own book.

Myth Monday: Daddy Bonding pt. 2

daddybabySo, this meany IBCLC doesn’t want daddies to feed their babies? How small minded and unfeminist of me! Don’t you realize that lots of women work?!

Whoa. Let me assure you, I am a big fan of bottles when breasts aren’t available! Rule number one of parenting is this: FEED THE BABY. Bottles can be helpful for a parent who is returning to work, and should be introduced at some point  between 4-6 weeks by someone other than the mother, but that isn’t what we are talking about today.

The problem with the whole, “pump so daddy can feed” thing, is:

  1. If you aren’t removing milk from your breast at every feed you are decreasing your supply. Period. So if you plan on sleeping through that feeding the daddy is taking over, don’t, you best get up and pump! And if you are up anyway, why not just feed the baby and save your sweetie all those dishes to wash?
  2. Pumping is a lot less fun than holding a cute, cuddly, big eyed, sweetly smelling baby.
  3. When you get in a cycle of pumping and bottle feeding, you breastfeed less and less, which ultimately decreases your supply and YOUR ability to bond with the baby.
  4. You will most likely, want to slap the bottle out of your dear loved one’s hands. Hormones make us protective of our little ones and of our milk supply. It is why our breasts let down when we hear a kitten meow sometimes, we want to feed the WORLD! This doesn’t go away just because you pledged your life to this guy with the bottle, your gut will rebel against someone else feeding your baby.
  5. Pumps just aren’t as efficient as babies, and sometimes, you won’t be able to pump at all. This has NOTHING to do with your supply, simply with the intelligence of your breasts. They know this droid is not the baby they are looking for! However, the sight of two bottles with drips of milk in the bottom after 30 minutes of not bonding with your baby can be really disheartening.

Enjoy your only job for the next few weeks being to feed and enjoy your baby!

Milk Myth Monday: Daddy Bonding pt 1.

26460_10150171500490585_4782255_nMyth: Daddies will not bond with a baby unless food is involved.

I hear it all the time, “I plan on breastfeeding, but want to pump and introduce the bottle so that my husband can bond.” Or, “I want my partner to feed the baby at night so I can sleep.”

 

Truth: Daddies and non-breastfeeding mommies can bond with their babies in a LOT of ways!

Daddy bonding time is important and (surprise!) doesn’t have to include a pump or a bottle. Some of my favorite memories of my husband are the moments after birth when he held them, dressed them carefully, kissed their tiny noses and cradled them very gently in his arms. He was the only one who could put our youngest to sleep for the longest time. He had a magical way of bathing them without tantrums erupting. His broad shoulders settled their tummies and his fearlessness helped them grow confident and secure. None of these daddy bonding rituals involved a bottle, and to be quite honest with you, the few times we tried a bottle, I nearly knocked it out of his hand in a hormonal mama lion way.

Here are a few other ways your partner can bond with baby and become a partner to you and a parent to your new little one:

  • Baby-wearing
  • Bath time
  • Diaper Changes
  • Naps on your chest
  • Baby massage
  • Taking goofy Instagram pictures with baby
  • Dressing
  • Skin to skin care
  • Playing video games while baby sits and watches you (captive audience)
  • Walks
  • Bedtime routine
  • Burping
  • Sing to them
  • Making silly faces at the baby
  • Reading Stories
  • Loving and taking care of their breastfeeding partner
  • Skeet Shooting

Ok, that last one is for a bit older child, I admit. Still though, there are a ton of ways that babies and their parents to bond and be involved with each other that don’t include food. Here are some more great ideas from Code Name Mama.

Milk Myth Monday: Circumcision

I realize this may lose me more business than it will gain, and I am going to keep this short and sweet, however, in the past few weeks I have seen too much of this to keep quiet about it any longer.

1. Circumcision hurts. Babies have the same nerve endings we do. Their penis is just as sensitive as any other male’s. There is even evidence of in utero masturbation for pete’s sake! When you cut, peel back, and cut skin from the penis, it is going to hurt. Period.

2. Circumcision affects breastfeeding. If you had just had surgery on your genitals, you probably wouldn’t want to be pressed up against anyone for a while. Too bad that is exactly what happens when breastfeeding properly. Tummy to tummy contact means that your little one’s open and fresh wound is pressed up against your body, which hurts. The reason it hurts? Check out #1.

Often, in the days following a circumcision, the baby will reject the breast, pull away from mother, avoid eye contact, and will fail to bond properly. This causes a domino effect of consequences to take place, such as: Lowered milk supply, weight loss, jaundice, lowered blood sugar, screaming and crying from the child.

3. Circumcision is pointless. It has been proven so needless, that some Jewish communities are bypassing full Brists for more humane practices including symbolic cutting and blood letting that leaves the foreskin alone. I am sick of the penile cancer argument. Women have a much higher incident of breast cancer, and yet we don’t remove little female’s breast buds at birth.

So really, why risk it? Why give your son an unnecessary cosmetic (and most times unmedicated) surgery at birth that can put your breastfeeding relationship at risk? So that he can match his daddy? Honey, if  the only difference between your husband and your son’s penis is the amount of skin on it, you have more problems than I realized.